Whoa, Toni! .     .     .     .     .    .    .    .

Find out how your corporate group can enjoy company-paid benefits at Griselda's FFSA*

* Fat Farm of Studio Art. Come to Griselda's, where . . .

. . . for a mere two hundred and thirty dollars a week, we'll provide full wardrobe development and maintenance — AND raise your children — while you build credits toward trying out, absolutely free, any of the fabulous fat farm beauty rituals!

See you at the Fat Farm! This is not what it looks like. These people are married!

ANGELINE
I've got it. I've got it. This is too perfect. For our commercial. How's this? (beat, shift)

" Are you a high maintenance female?!"

She freaks, like a lady berserk.

ANGELINE (continues)
YES! This hair. Costs. Nine hundred dollars — a year. My nails? A mere sixty-five.

HOMELESS GIRLS
Per week!

ANGELINE
You say you're spending thousands on personal upkeep, and you STILL don't have ANYthing to wear? (beat, shift) Well, relax, milady. We're Griselda's FFSA, and that stands for a Fat Farm of Studio Art. And for a mere two hundred and thirty dollars a week, we'll provide full wardrobe consultation AND raise your children while you build credits toward any of the following free beauty rituals!

CHERI
Pore clarfying body wrap with aromatic botanical.

Angeline encourages them to continue. She drops her dressing gown, pulls the turban off to reveal a finished coiffure in wiccatails, slips a dress over her head.

HOMELESS GIRLS (ensemble)
Mmmnnn!

CHERI
Total systems analysis. Electronic or mechanical!

HOMELESS GIRLS (ensemble)
Nice!

CHERI
Age defying breast massage with active pudenda gripping

HOMELESS GIRLS (ensemble)
Huh?!

CHERI
Beeswax and rosemary astringent leg or bikini-area stripping

HOMELESS GIRLS (ensemble)

Ow!


From Act III, Harrier Angel © 1998, all rights reserved     nine3
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